ZAPNotes

Jeez, you'd think that Apple had just introduced an aluminum apple crate as their new product while simultaneously announcing that they're going to convert all their stores to pie bakeries, judging by the reactions on tech boards and the stock price. Calm down, people.  The Mac Book Air is not for everyone.  Apple is not going out of business, nor are they shooting themselves in the foot. Today they came out with a lightweight notebook and some great upgrades to the Apple TV, the iPhone and a nifty new backup solution/wireless router.  Personally, we'd take one of each, please. The MBA is not for everyone.  It's not a gaming box.  It's not a high-end graphics box.  It's a very light, very stylish notebook that will work very well for professionals that already have a desktop machine. The hopeful part of this (at least, as far as our IRA is concerned) is that there was similar reaction to the iPod.

This will end well. Shouldn't there be a fund set up for the children of douchebag celebrity parents? Someplace nice and quiet in the country where they could grow up and be normal? Edit: link above was about one or the other of the Spears kids/pregnancies. Yahoo got so sick of the story that the link broke and it was so long ago we cannot even remember exactly what it was about, so we can't go find a similar linky for you. The moral of the story is gossip about celebrities is ultimately depressing.  We wish it not upon anyone.

Because I can! Embed This Video | Visit Fox Searchlight

It's the old west, cowboys versus indians. Then the aliens crash-land right in the middle. And it's not cowboy versus indian anymore, it's man versus alien in a desperate fight for survival. It must be self-promotion Monday around here and nobody told me til' the end! Anyhoo—I'm very much responsible for the 60 seconds of goodness that you see above these words. Editing, art directing, three-dee-ing, fluffing, etc. Last week was lots of fun. Doing the trailer and the site in a very short time. I'd tell you how short a time, but then the big boss people are going to expect things even faster than your not-so-slow hero can do without hurting himself. Enjoy and share.

Totally excellent column for some reason rejected by page 2 editors. Thanks, chisports ! The Sports Guy Goes to an Auction So I'm sitting there the other day watching ESPN2 and I see that Reggie Jackson had a great game. There is nobody, with the possible exception of Kevin Kennedy, that I dislike more than Reggie Jackson. In the pantheon of people that 'Make the Sports Guy Insane,' these two are neck and neck. The phone rings. It's my friend Bish. Score! Bish is always willing to discuss our mutual distaste for Reggie Jackson. Don't get me wrong--we respect his abilities. But he's the the animated Sports Guy of sports. Totally annoying, yet on TV all the time. Bish mentions that it would be nice if Reggie Jackson caught a case of chlamydia at the beginning of September, paving the way for the Red Sox to the playoffs like on Viagara. Bish points out that the chances that Reggie Jackson will come down with chlamydia in September are minimal, but that if we expand...

Our version of why Joe Morgan was called away for a phone call has made it onto FireJoeMorgan. Like Ryan after his hole-in-one, we are contemplating giving up this internet thing altogether. How can we top this?