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Showing posts from June, 2005

Blogspam

Don't do it. However tempting it is to use other blogger's comments areas to promote your ultra-crappy, badly written excuse for using up server space. Make an interesting comment and you'll be rewarded with page views and maybe frequent readership. But blog spam isn't welcome and doesn't work. So don't do it.

Just.

Don't.

Thank you.

AFI's 100 Best Movie Quotes

I'll post what I thought was overlooked and what shouldn't have been included later. Meantime, here's the list as it is:
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” “Gone With the Wind,” 1939.
“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse,” “The Godfather,” 1972.
“You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am,” “On the Waterfront,” 1954.
“Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” “The Wizard of Oz,” 1939.
“Here’s looking at you, kid,” “Casablanca,” 1942.
“Go ahead, make my day,” “Sudden Impact,” 1983.
“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up,” “Sunset Blvd.,” 1950.
“May the Force be with you,” “Star Wars,” 1977.
“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night,” “All About Eve,” 1950.
“You talking to me?” “Taxi Driver,” 1976.
“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate,” “Cool Hand Luke,” 1967.
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning,” “Apocalypse Now,” 1979.
“Love m…

Boll Me Over...

JAD's favorite movie director, the inscrutable Uwe Boll, is allegedly being considered for directing duties on a movie adaptation of the PC game Postal. This kind of genre-jumping (House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark & the upcoming masterpiece that is Blood Rayne) is virtually unprecedented, but we feel that the intrepid autuer will be up to the task. Dare we say, "Oscar?"

Yes, we dare.

Thanks, Michael

Thank you for telling us that you are not going to have children* in your bed anymore. We'll just gloss over the glaring contradiction here.

But well done to you! And congratulations on the not guilty verdicts! Too bad you couldn't get the judge to allow a verdict of innocent...





* And by children we specifically mean young boys. But hey! It's a natural and loving thing, right?!?!

How to write like a gossip columnist

Anyone can do it!

Just keep in mind to never use your source's name, and always play up a celebrity's reaction to something using the following words:

Blast
Slam
Fuming

Here's an example:

"Latigo Flint blasted reports that his guns do not actually fire live ammunition."

Use them in combination!:

"Gil slammed fellow carnie Sal's insinuation that he got a bit too personal with a badger. "It was cold and he wasn't even there!" the one-eyed Whack 'em Cats operator fumed."

That's right, kiddies. Anyone can write a gossip column. And with the internet, anyone can publish it, too!

p.s. Don't forget to put a salacious slant on everything. And blow things out of proportion, too. In fact, you may want to change your middle name to that.