How to write like a gossip columnist

Anyone can do it!

Just keep in mind to never use your source's name, and always play up a celebrity's reaction to something using the following words:

Blast
Slam
Fuming

Here's an example:

"Latigo Flint blasted reports that his guns do not actually fire live ammunition."

Use them in combination!:

"Gil slammed fellow carnie Sal's insinuation that he got a bit too personal with a badger. "It was cold and he wasn't even there!" the one-eyed Whack 'em Cats operator fumed."

That's right, kiddies. Anyone can write a gossip column. And with the internet, anyone can publish it, too!

p.s. Don't forget to put a salacious slant on everything. And blow things out of proportion, too. In fact, you may want to change your middle name to that.