Skip to main content

ESPN: brought to you by _______

Very sharp observation on ESPN by the cats at Deadspin:

We were just at the ESPN Zone at Downtown Disney this weekend. Played some games and watched a little March Madness. (Top speed on the pitching machine was an embarrassing 58mph. We demand a recount.)

Anyhoo, being at the worldwide leader's SoCal mecca just served to remind us that by and large ESPN may have become a victim of its own success. We remember watching SportCenter back in the day when every other segment wasn't brought to you by a sponsor, they actually put un-telegenic people on the air and didn't seem to have a penchant for hiring people who's only qualification to pontificate on sports seems to be that that they do it loudly.

Perhaps it's the rise of the internet, but we find ourselves not tuning into the four-letter whore so much these days. That, and they still pay Joe Morgan a salary.

Comments

Latigo Flint said…
I really liked it that one time when a lithe, staggering ball carrier could have gone all the way.

Popular posts from this blog

Clay and Adam are a couple of dorks.

But I certainly had nothing to do with this monstosity. Or did I?

How to write like a gossip columnist

Anyone can do it! Just keep in mind to never use your source's name, and always play up a celebrity's reaction to something using the following words: Blast Slam Fuming Here's an example: "Latigo Flint blasted reports that his guns do not actually fire live ammunition." Use them in combination!: "Gil slammed fellow carnie Sal's insinuation that he got a bit too personal with a badger. "It was cold and he wasn't even there!" the one-eyed Whack 'em Cats operator fumed." That's right, kiddies. Anyone can write a gossip column. And with the internet, anyone can publish it, too! p.s. Don't forget to put a salacious slant on everything. And blow things out of proportion, too. In fact, you may want to change your middle name to that.

Ruled by Secrecy

CONFIDENTIAL NEW BUSINESS PLAN Given the advancements in Organic Light Emitting Diode (OLED) technology, it is now possible to create the world's next great invention: The digital bumper sticker. See, OLEDs don't use a lot of voltage, can be almost paper-thin and are actually brighter than conventional LEDs using the same amount of power. This next generation bumper sticker (NGBS) will affix to your bumper or rear window as normal, but it will have a wireless connection to your cellular phone (WCTYCP). Flash memory (like in the iPod Shuffle) will keep each slogan displaying on the NGBS for at least 3 months without requiring a recharge/replacement. The advantages of this NGBS for the investor are so many as to boggle the mind, but I will outline a few for you: No more stale slogans. If your candidate lost, you can instantly update your Dennis Kucinich sticker to read "Don't Blame Me, I Voted Kucinich!" We think this will be a great revenue stream. After the l