Poster Review: And They're Off

Don't look at this one. Please. The bad Photoshopping in it may make you blind.

Just don't.

...

/sigh

OK, but I warned you:

Have your retinas refocused? No? Well, you can always do text-to-speech on this one if you're on a Mac, don't know about Windows users.

What is cool about this one is that it proves that Sean Astin exists in another dimension from ours, appearing to us according to his will, not our laws of physics. It really is remarkable.

What's that? You don't believe me? Well then, you explain how it is that Sean is lit by a different source from Ms. Oteri and her horse? Or how he is standing a good yard in front of the horse, while still managing to jam his should up the poor equine's butt, without resorting to Reed Richards-like stretching action? It's not possible. He's like a time lord or something.

Bonus points for the straight apostrophe in the title. And the almost-red 'O'.

So many things off about this one.

(Image from ComingSoon.net)

Comments

Clay and Adam are a couple of dorks.

But I certainly had nothing to do with this monstosity. Or did I?

Blackout

The jury did not believe that Lil' Kim's sunglasses kept her from noticing that it was her friends who were shooting people outside the Hot 97 radio station. Apparently she misplaced the manual for her Joo Janta 200 Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses™. The jury, having not personally experienced the usefulness of having sunglasses that turn progressively black in the presence of danger, thought she was just a liar. Zaphod could have told them that a person wearing such sunglasses would definitely not seen anyone shooting anyone else under any circumstances. The interesting thing about the above article is not that Lil' Kim is the first female rap star to go to prison, but that this radio station is the place where rap entourages go to have shootouts. "Hot 97 is the same station where the posses of 50 Cent and The Game traded bullets last month." Hot 97 is the new OK Corral! We may have just found a career for Latigo that would make good use of his skills. He just

How to write like a gossip columnist

Anyone can do it! Just keep in mind to never use your source's name, and always play up a celebrity's reaction to something using the following words: Blast Slam Fuming Here's an example: "Latigo Flint blasted reports that his guns do not actually fire live ammunition." Use them in combination!: "Gil slammed fellow carnie Sal's insinuation that he got a bit too personal with a badger. "It was cold and he wasn't even there!" the one-eyed Whack 'em Cats operator fumed." That's right, kiddies. Anyone can write a gossip column. And with the internet, anyone can publish it, too! p.s. Don't forget to put a salacious slant on everything. And blow things out of proportion, too. In fact, you may want to change your middle name to that.

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