ZAPNotes

As much as our ambivalence about the WWL has grown, we have always loathed ESPN morning guy Colin Cowherd. There is bad radio and then there's Cowherd. He replaced orange man Tony Kornheiser a few years ago. He got the slot about a year or two after TK actually left. In the intervening time, ESPN and the affiliates just ran a repeat of Mike & Mike (or as the wife calls them, the Soutern Baptist preachers) in the time slot. Listening to Cowherd actually lowers your intelligence. He is not funny nor is he insightful. He is also deathly afraid of people who disagree with him or offer new thoughts. He is the sports talk radio equivalent of the flat earth society. If he doesn't understand you, he makes fun of you and insults you for being a crackpot. After about 5 minutes of Cowherd we find Jim Rome to be tolerable. This kind of badness is almost worth admiring. That is, if experiencing it didn't make you want to rip out your cochlears with a santoku knife. He is ...

Very sharp observation on ESPN by the cats at Deadspin: We were just at the ESPN Zone at Downtown Disney this weekend. Played some games and watched a little March Madness. (Top speed on the pitching machine was an embarrassing 58mph. We demand a recount.) Anyhoo, being at the worldwide leader's SoCal mecca just served to remind us that by and large ESPN may have become a victim of its own success. We remember watching SportCenter back in the day when every other segment wasn't brought to you by a sponsor, they actually put un-telegenic people on the air and didn't seem to have a penchant for hiring people who's only qualification to pontificate on sports seems to be that that they do it loudly. Perhaps it's the rise of the internet, but we find ourselves not tuning into the four-letter whore so much these days. That, and they still pay Joe Morgan a salary.

From WENN: Lee Shocked by 'Brokeback' Loss Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon director Ang Lee was devastated Brokeback Mountain lost out on the Best Picture Oscar to Crash , but insists he is still proud of the movie The director was disappointed that his film didn't take home the top honor and is baffled as to why it didn't win. He explains, "I would do exactly the same. I'm so proud of the movie. They (the Academy) didn't vote for it, I don't know (why)...I'm just glad the audience embraced it. It was a surprise (not winning), quite frankly." In addition to Lee's Oscar, the film also won awards for Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Score. Hmmm... maybe they liked Crash better? Hell, maybe they liked all of the other 4 films better, we'll never know—the Academy doesn't release vote totals. It's neat that we was so confident in his opus, but maybe he was a bit drunk on the KoolAid being poured by the critics in this town. We a...

Because I haven't had time to give you the aftermath of the BloodRayne line, here's a me-too post. (Play along friends! Anyone can do it!): ONE (1) earliest film-related memory: Standing in line with my dad to see Empire Strikes Back. TWO (2) favorite lines from movies: "Free your mind" "Not bad for a human" THREE (3) jobs you’d do if you could not work in the “biz”: Professional chef be a number five starter CEO of Apple FOUR (4) jobs you actually have held outside the industry: Office clerk Churro vendor Creative Director Photoshop Monkey THREE (3) book authors you like: Hubbard King Stephenson TWO (2) movies you’d like to remake or properties you’d like to adapt: Hubbard's "Mission Earth" (If they can green-light Narnia, why not a 10-book sci-fi satire?) The Dragonlance Chronicles ONE (1) screenwriter you think is underrated: Mike Judge

The inimitable Dr. Boll has a treat for us this weekend. His latest masterwork, Bloodrayne . Some lucky souls have been allowed to see the finished work. Unfortunately they all seem to be haters. But is that really so hard to understand? Most humans cannot comprehend the UB genius level. We hate that which we cannot understand. That said, these sots will have their eyes stabbed out as penance for their ignorance shortly. But not us. We are ready for the weekend. We are going to prepare by fasting on nothing but blood until show time. This should get us into the mood. In fact, we're already in line at the Burbank 16. It's not very long yet, but if you wait until Friday to get your tickets you'll be very envious of our position in line. The master calls us!

Sounds like the cute little red guy is up to no good. What has the world come to? Maybe next Jim Sheridan will bring us Barney's Belfast, in which the purple fella blows up a good part of Ireland in the name of Irish Independence? It's toddler terrorism at its most bizarre. Oh, and happy new year to everyone!

Right in my old back yard, no less! Some would-be XBox 360 scalpers were robbed at gunpoint after failing in their attempt to double their money by selling 5 XBox 360s to people standing in line to buy them. Nobody likes a scalper, I guess. No word on wether or not the gunmen then played Santa Claus by turning over their ill-gotten gains to some needy gamers. I'm guessing not. I'd be sympathetic to the plight of these boys, except for the fact that they were scalping! So now their actions have deprived four gamers from having a potentially incendiary home electronics device. But seriously, someone needs to take the rage out of A-Rage.