Saturday, February 05, 2005

A Sadder Day

My earlier satirical blog about Alone in the Dark isn't half as funny as this supposedly true account of the scripting of said masterpiece. Enjoy.

By the way, the trailer for Bloodrayne may make you go blind. You've been warned.


Teaspoon said...

How does he keep getting video game rights? If I were the owners of a video game and if Uwe approached me not only would I so No Effing Way, I would put him into my next game as the main evil bad guy of the first level. You know the guy who is way easy to kill.

Jack Mercer said...

And I SO loved the game!

Gil The Carnie said...

I hears hes gots the movie rights to Pong now.

Teaspoon said...


The Right Side Paddle - Played by Ben Affleck, in what some are saying the role he was born to play. That of a lifeless wooden paddle.

The Left Side Paddle - Played by The O.C's Peter Gallagher's Eyebrows, The Eyebrows were director Uwe Bole's first choice. When asked about them Uwe responded "They are just like this impenentrable barrier, and we were able to get them for cost." When asked if it would be difficult to work without Peter the pair answer: Not at all we have been carrying him since we became a unibrow back in '82.

The ball is set to be played by teen sensation Britney Spears. When asked why? she responed with "ummmm....."
An ananoymous source close to the singer/actress was quoted saying, "dude, that woman needs to make some money, last night her flippen AMEX black card got turned down when I tried to use it to get new cornrolls, I didn't marry her for her looks and personality, damnit."

Mike R. said...

It was such a great game. I didn't know there were enough movies at the theatre every week for there to even be a #14. History making epic piece of cinema!!
Teaspoon, I am totally down with Pong. Can Brittany Murphy and Tara Reid have roles? Maybe they can be the Pong cheerleaders...