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Christmas Dinner, Part One: The Fellowship of the Mise En Place

Holidays at home generally mean cooking something big, something a little outside the norm. This year, the notch has been stepped up.

The Players:

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If you're going to have vegetables involved, they should be good ones. These are.

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Bread and bacon. Food groups: covered.

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Bacon: about to do what it does best.

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Put this with the bacon, and you'd have yourself a nice side dish. But that's not enough for today.

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Magic happening.

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This is probably too hot for the kids to see.

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Look at all that goodness. I see apples, wild rice, chestnuts? Yes.

What's all this for?

Time for the big reveal:

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Oh yes. We went there.

To be continued…

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How to write like a gossip columnist

Anyone can do it!

Just keep in mind to never use your source's name, and always play up a celebrity's reaction to something using the following words:

Blast
Slam
Fuming

Here's an example:

"Latigo Flint blasted reports that his guns do not actually fire live ammunition."

Use them in combination!:

"Gil slammed fellow carnie Sal's insinuation that he got a bit too personal with a badger. "It was cold and he wasn't even there!" the one-eyed Whack 'em Cats operator fumed."

That's right, kiddies. Anyone can write a gossip column. And with the internet, anyone can publish it, too!

p.s. Don't forget to put a salacious slant on everything. And blow things out of proportion, too. In fact, you may want to change your middle name to that.