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Christmas Dinner Part Two: The Empire Strikes Fat

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Do you know what the golden stripe on top is? That is the side benefit to cooking a goose: a quart of goose fat! I shouldn't have to explain to you why this is awesome.

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This goose hasn't been handled as much as Lindsay Lohan, but it's close.

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Stock. Guess what you wind up with here? Stock. And more fat!

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I have never seen fat separate this well. This is unfiltered, and this isn't cloudy, either.

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First trip into the oven.

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Look at that. Such vibrancy.

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And then someone had to break out the oil. Apparently we're in the studio with Prince, recording the Batman soundtrack.

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Post second trip in the oven. Breast down and covered to start, up and bare to finish. Just like the beach in San Tropez.

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Gravy roux. Roux may be my favorite word ever.

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Goose fat: It's like 12 days of Christmas.

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Group photo. It was awesome. Merry Christmas!

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How to write like a gossip columnist

Anyone can do it!

Just keep in mind to never use your source's name, and always play up a celebrity's reaction to something using the following words:

Blast
Slam
Fuming

Here's an example:

"Latigo Flint blasted reports that his guns do not actually fire live ammunition."

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That's right, kiddies. Anyone can write a gossip column. And with the internet, anyone can publish it, too!

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