ZAPNotes

Nicely kerned and leaded title on this. The first tagline makes sense, but why is there a second tagline in a different font? Odd choice. The eyelines and planes of existence at the bottom would require some serious quantum computing to explain what's going on. And now the Poster Review Players: Maya Rudolph: You mean this isn't Bridesmaids 2? Chris O'Dowd: Hey baby, you want to hear my stories from The IT Crowd ? I've got an accent! Kristen Wiiiiiiiiiig: I amso s mmaaaaaas hed !!! !! John Hamm: I don't know who that blonde is, but I'm totally going to hit it. Adam Scott: How did I get first billing? Jennifer Westfeldt: How did I make the poster? Megan Fox and Ed Burns: Seriously.

Do you know what the golden stripe on top is? That is the side benefit to cooking a goose: a quart of goose fat! I shouldn't have to explain to you why this is awesome. This goose hasn't been handled as much as Lindsay Lohan, but it's close. Stock. Guess what you wind up with here? Stock. And more fat! I have never seen fat separate this well. This is unfiltered, and this isn't cloudy, either. First trip into the oven. Look at that. Such vibrancy. And then someone had to break out the oil. Apparently we're in the studio with Prince, recording the Batman soundtrack. Post second trip in the oven. Breast down and covered to start, up and bare to finish. Just like the beach in San Tropez. Gravy roux. Roux may be my favorite word ever. Goose fat: It's like 12 days of Christmas. Group photo. It was awesome. Merry Christmas!

Holidays at home generally mean cooking something big, something a little outside the norm. This year, the notch has been stepped up. The Players: If you're going to have vegetables involved, they should be good ones. These are. Bread and bacon. Food groups: covered. Bacon: about to do what it does best. Put this with the bacon, and you'd have yourself a nice side dish. But that's not enough for today. Magic happening. This is probably too hot for the kids to see. Look at all that goodness. I see apples, wild rice, chestnuts? Yes. What's all this for? Time for the big reveal: Oh yes. We went there. To be continued…

What is this movie about? Good luck discerning anything from this poster. From the title, it's probably a concert film. From the look on the kid's face, it may be about an eating disorder. Nothing about this makes me want to find out. One of the reasons this is such a disconserting image is because the hands are miserably Photoshopped over the kid's face. Go to a mirror, and try and replicate this. You can't, and it's not because you have bigger or smaller hands, or don't feel like throwing up at this moment. It's because it's an impossible pose. The hands are essentially floating over the plane the face is on, and the shadows are just miserable, the scale is wrong. It's surprising that this got approved, considering the pedigree of the film.