Thursday, January 20, 2005

Well, you tell me!

So I'm playing some music via iTunes and I decide to pop into the music store (iTMS) to see if there's anything new and interesting. And there was. But not for the right reasons. For wrong reasons, so very, very. Wrong.

Vince Neil had the third "ad" at the top of the iTMS home page. I can only hope that these are paid ads, making Apple a little money, because there is no other good reason on this earth for that to be where it was.

So I just had to click on it, to see what he was up to.

...

Who can I sue to reclaim the 30 seconds of my life that were wasted listening to this drivel. Don't get me wrong, I love the Crüe. I can even make the umlats quickly as I type. "Kick Start My Heart" and "Dr. Feelgood" are in a class by themselves. The problem here is that Crüe-less Vince sounds nothing like Vince+Crüe. Vince+Crüe=Gold, at least for a while. He should have looked to the successful solo careers of other front men, who's solo releases sounded EXACTLY like the stuff they did with the band that made them big enough to get a solo deal with the record company. People like Ozzy Osbourne and Tom Petty. Vince has elected to release a song which sounds a little like Toad the Wet Sprocket meets the Goo Goo Dolls, but slower. Why?

The song is called "Promise Me" and I cannot figure out exactly what he's trying to do here. I promise him that I won't be supporting his solo career. Mötley Crüe had a sound, and Vince's voice worked well with that. This should not lead one to believe that this meant that Vince knows how to sing, because he doesn't. His limited ability to make sounds that come out of his mouth is not enhance by the inherent whiny quality of said voice. (The Boss, who is very limited as a singer, at least has a quality to his voice that does not incite violence against small animals.)

He is also apparently trying to re-invent himself by appropriating Eddie Vedder's look circa Ten. This wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so thoroughly out of shape. I saw him New Year's Eve on The Tonight Shoe with the rest of the Crüe and he was roughly twice the width of Nikki Six. And Nikki's thin, but he's not that thin.

1 comment:

Myster said...

My cousin Mikey was friends with John Corrabi's son in junior high. He lived in a very lower-middle-class condo in TO. So I guess the whole filling-in-as-front-man thing didn't really pay.