Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Great Blogs that Never Were

Imagine if the internet had been invented 100 years earlier. Or even earlier than that. Of course, that might mean that a lot of other things would have to be invented first, like monitors, keyboards, computers and toilet paper, but let's skip all that.

What kind of blogs have we missed out on? Let's jump into an alternate universe and find out!

[waiting.]

OK, good. You've made it! Let's look at some of these blogs!:

Spreading the Word
M.

This blog reads kind of like the Bible. Very dry. A lot of "Shalt Nots" and so on. I don't think this guy got laid very much.

The Big Fat Roman Orgy
B.

Wow. This was one catty bitch. He spent post after post whining about his boss. Boring!

The Vicious Blog
D. Parker

And I thought the last one was catty. This reads like a Ted Casablanca column, only literate. Stank of gin, too.

Killed Another One
W. H. McCarty

Thrilling recounts of gunplay, fast horses and dirty women. Every other post was about some guy that mouthed off to him and got a gut full of lead for his troubles. I think this guy was on the run a lot. Must have had a wireless connection.

Do Bloggers Dream of Electric Sheep?
P. K. Dick

Trippy. I think this blog is from the future somehow--but written by me? And now I'm reading it via an alternate universe... Gotta lay off the ether.

2 comments:

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

An intriguing idea.

I think it would be cool if Frank Sinatra had a blog:

Did a gig. Drank some vino. Some guy got outta line so I had his ass kicked. Sexed a few dancing girls. Recorded My Way. Went to bed at dawn.

Kid Relish said...

Oh yeah, great - hundreds of thousands of morons whining about how we don't belong in Germany or Japan!

"No blood for schnitzel! No blood for schnitzel!"