Friday, March 11, 2005

Ruled by Secrecy

CONFIDENTIAL
NEW BUSINESS PLAN


Given the advancements in Organic Light Emitting Diode (OLED) technology, it is now possible to create the world's next great invention:

The digital bumper sticker.

See, OLEDs don't use a lot of voltage, can be almost paper-thin and are actually brighter than conventional LEDs using the same amount of power. This next generation bumper sticker (NGBS) will affix to your bumper or rear window as normal, but it will have a wireless connection to your cellular phone (WCTYCP).

Flash memory (like in the iPod Shuffle) will keep each slogan displaying on the NGBS for at least 3 months without requiring a recharge/replacement.

The advantages of this NGBS for the investor are so many as to boggle the mind, but I will outline a few for you:
  1. No more stale slogans. If your candidate lost, you can instantly update your Dennis Kucinich sticker to read "Don't Blame Me, I Voted Kucinich!" We think this will be a great revenue stream. After the last election there were about 56,000,000 users that would have paid to update their NGBS.

  2. Downloadable slogans. We've got downloadable ringtones, a huge business. This will be even bigger. Trust me.

  3. Animated designs. Increase tailgating and rear-endings by distracting drivers behind you. See the addendum about buying controlling interests in auto body shops.


We are looking for some seed capital to get this started. Don't hesitate, as there is a limited amount of stock available to ground floor investors. You want to get in before the VCs. We accept PayPal (WAPP).

Please keep this plan in the strictest of confidence.

6 comments:

Latigo Flint said...

I want in - I'm on my way the pawn shop this instant. ('course you know people are so going to hack other people's stickers.)

darthmoridin said...

Latigo, you have uncovered another revenue stream! We can then sell hacker protection packages (HPP), bumper sticker virus protection (BVP) and branded cleaning kits (CK). It's the Microsoft model.

Latigo Flint said...

Out of curiosity, how much longer do you intend to refer to me as Pope Gutless Bastard II?

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

You're only halfway there. A microphone with voice-recognition software must be installed in the dashboard so you can change it while driving.

It must translate from English into both Polish and Spanish when you speak the appropriate verbal cue.

This way you can tell that person you just passed "You drive like my Grandmother" or "Die cold and alone."

Anonymous said...

Amen to bottle rocket fire alarm's posting

darthmoridin said...

LF - Not much longer, I guess.

BRFA - You're hired as the CTO.

Anonymous - Wanna sign up for the beta test?