Skip to main content

If you want to get me a present...

...I'd settle for this:

I promise not to get any drool on you.

I de-selected the modem since I won't use it ever and figured I'd save you the $29.

It might not arrive in time for next Saturday, but I'll understand.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Poster Review: Cold Light of Day

Who is that uncredited dude stiffly walking away from that explosion? Is this a new Terminator film? How do you not put Sigourney Weaver in your poster?

AFI's 100 Best Movie Quotes

I'll post what I thought was overlooked and what shouldn't have been included later. Meantime, here's the list as it is:
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” “Gone With the Wind,” 1939.
“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse,” “The Godfather,” 1972.
“You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am,” “On the Waterfront,” 1954.
“Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” “The Wizard of Oz,” 1939.
“Here’s looking at you, kid,” “Casablanca,” 1942.
“Go ahead, make my day,” “Sudden Impact,” 1983.
“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up,” “Sunset Blvd.,” 1950.
“May the Force be with you,” “Star Wars,” 1977.
“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night,” “All About Eve,” 1950.
“You talking to me?” “Taxi Driver,” 1976.
“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate,” “Cool Hand Luke,” 1967.
“I love the smell of napalm in the morning,” “Apocalypse Now,” 1979.
“Love m…

How to write like a gossip columnist

Anyone can do it!

Just keep in mind to never use your source's name, and always play up a celebrity's reaction to something using the following words:

Blast
Slam
Fuming

Here's an example:

"Latigo Flint blasted reports that his guns do not actually fire live ammunition."

Use them in combination!:

"Gil slammed fellow carnie Sal's insinuation that he got a bit too personal with a badger. "It was cold and he wasn't even there!" the one-eyed Whack 'em Cats operator fumed."

That's right, kiddies. Anyone can write a gossip column. And with the internet, anyone can publish it, too!

p.s. Don't forget to put a salacious slant on everything. And blow things out of proportion, too. In fact, you may want to change your middle name to that.