Skip to main content

This couldn't get any better if it was scripted

As a Kobe-hater extraordinaire, I find this latest bit simply delicious. I don't know what the future holds for this pathetic saga, but one can only hope it includes an OJ-like ostracizing of the Laker's Chosen One.

Those who aspire to be the next Jordan should take heed of what has happened here: prove that you can win when you're the man before you get involved in extra-marital scandals. Then the public doesn't hate you as much. Oh, and listen to your lawyers when they tell you to not do press conferences.

Does Vanessa have to wait until the 10 year mark to get half? Or does she have a case for it already? I want answers, dammit!

I don't know when the Lakers will trade him, but I think that they will. The day cannot come soon enough, because I would like to resume my role as a Laker fan, something that has been taken from me by the Arrogant One.

Comments

Anonymous said…
That's because it actually is scripted. For a number of years now Stern has been slowly transitioning the NBA into the Professional Wrestling format.

brian
4:29 PM
GalakticAck said…
You sir, are helping to reaafirm(sp?) my faith in the Lakers nation. Kudos, you are a scholar AND a gentleman.
7:56 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Clay and Adam are a couple of dorks.

But I certainly had nothing to do with this monstosity. Or did I?
1 comment
Read more

Ruled by Secrecy

CONFIDENTIAL NEW BUSINESS PLAN Given the advancements in Organic Light Emitting Diode (OLED) technology, it is now possible to create the world's next great invention: The digital bumper sticker. See, OLEDs don't use a lot of voltage, can be almost paper-thin and are actually brighter than conventional LEDs using the same amount of power. This next generation bumper sticker (NGBS) will affix to your bumper or rear window as normal, but it will have a wireless connection to your cellular phone (WCTYCP). Flash memory (like in the iPod Shuffle) will keep each slogan displaying on the NGBS for at least 3 months without requiring a recharge/replacement. The advantages of this NGBS for the investor are so many as to boggle the mind, but I will outline a few for you: No more stale slogans. If your candidate lost, you can instantly update your Dennis Kucinich sticker to read "Don't Blame Me, I Voted Kucinich!" We think this will be a great revenue stream. After the l
6 comments
Read more

How to write like a gossip columnist

Anyone can do it! Just keep in mind to never use your source's name, and always play up a celebrity's reaction to something using the following words: Blast Slam Fuming Here's an example: "Latigo Flint blasted reports that his guns do not actually fire live ammunition." Use them in combination!: "Gil slammed fellow carnie Sal's insinuation that he got a bit too personal with a badger. "It was cold and he wasn't even there!" the one-eyed Whack 'em Cats operator fumed." That's right, kiddies. Anyone can write a gossip column. And with the internet, anyone can publish it, too! p.s. Don't forget to put a salacious slant on everything. And blow things out of proportion, too. In fact, you may want to change your middle name to that.
2 comments
Read more