Skip to main content

Get that man a barber

Ricky Williams, who is apparently campaigning for the role of uncle Jesse in The Dukes of Hazard movie, has done an interview with that pillar of journalistic integrity, "60 Minutes". In said interview, he claims that he would apologize to is teammates if he understood why he would be apologizing. He doesn't see a reason to.

[insert Lewis Black's stunned noise that he makes, as there is no emoticon that does it full justice]

But he'll do it if someone asks him to.

He says it won't mean anything if he doesn't understand why he'd be doing it.

[insert noise again]

We knew that Ricky was a bit off-kilter. When he first came into the league, he would do after practice and game interviews—without taking off his helmet! Then some yokels gave him some medication, which while he was seemingly no longer so shy, I doubt it really improved his mental state.

But is his cognitive function really so low that he cannot understand the magnitude of what he did? Doesn't he know that the beard makes him look like the black Ted Kaczynski? I guess not. Mary Jane mixed with psychiatric drugs is probably not such a good idea.

If you see him, remind him that:

  1. He screwed the Miami Dolphins by quitting right before training camp, having given no prior indication that he was considering the move

  2. He was basically the offense in Miami and his quitting effectively destroyed any chances his team had of a successful season

  3. His future obligations to the team were so great that an arbitrator decided that he has to pay back the team $8mm—which he probably doesn't even have at this point



I think it at least deserves a "My bad guys. Sorry for blowing up your season."

Or he could at least shave the beard.

One has to start somewhere.

Comments

Latigo Flint said…
That is a beautiful story Rube, thanks for sharing. But I bet you'd feel differently if he had turned to you all and told you to put your faith in one more roll of his dice and then when all your bets were laid he tossed the dice into the glass of a passing waitress, set the table on fire and dashed off to sit under Jimmy Hendrix's guitar where he proceeded to light up and smoke his own pants.
Zach Pennington said…
Go Latigo!

Popular posts from this blog

Clay and Adam are a couple of dorks.

But I certainly had nothing to do with this monstosity. Or did I?

Some things are better left uncovered

Sometimes you hear a cover and go to yourself, "hey, that's doper than Sam Perkins at Woodstock." Other times, you wonder (possibly aloud) "that no talent hack! They couldn't even carry [inset original artist here]'s guitar case!" [Ed. note: You should have seen what the author originally wanted to use as the carried item. Believe us, it wasn't a guitar case.] Today was an example of the second. Some fool whose name I cannot even spare the mental RAM for, has covered "High and Dry" by the esteemed Radiohead. This is up there. With the worst covers of all time. Some songs just don't ever need to be covered. Like this one. And like "It's My Life" by Talk Talk. But No Doubt did a decent job with that one, although they crapped all over it with that video. This one today was bad. When you do a cover, you're supposed to bring something to it. Maybe your sound is similar to the original artist's, an